


On Being Romeo

by orphan_account



Category: Romeo And Juliet - All Media Types, Romeo And Juliet - Shakespeare
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-14 00:09:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4542762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mercutio and Benvolio have a little fun at Romeo's expense. (Written for a Tumblr prompt)</p>
            </blockquote>





	On Being Romeo

“I hate him.”

From where he was sitting on the stone steps, elbows braced against his knees and chin in his hands, Benvolio sighed. “I know you do.”

“I mean, I really, really, really hate him.” For every “really”, Mercutio evidently found the need to punctuate his meaning by actually punching the air in front of him. Benvolio watched on with a disinterested amusement, finding the sight utterly ridiculous. 

That wasn’t to say Mercutio’s anger wasn’t justified; Romeo had promised to pick them up, he was nearly an hour late, and it was just about to start raining. Being all the way on the other side of town- what’s worse, a Capulet-frequented part of town- at a time like this really wasn’t the best situation for either boy to be in. Mercutio had valid reasons to be punching the air as if it were Romeo’s face, certainly. Yet Benvolio wasn’t angry. Romeo was Romeo, and he would continue to be Romeo until the day he died. As good-hearted as he was, he just… couldn’t be relied on for much. He was too dreamy, too focused inside of his own head and on his own feelings. As much as he cared about others, he couldn’t seem to remove himself from- well, from himself.

“He sucks. He’s the scum under the bottom of my shoe, the bird that gets hit with a stone and drops out of the sky, the deer that runs out into the middle of the road because it wants to look at the pretty bright lights-”

“So he’s an idiot, is what you’re saying.”

“Exactly!” Mercutio had sat down next to Benvolio just seconds ago; now he sprung to his feet again, snatching Benvolio’s blue jacket off of the ground as he did so. The brunet boy made a grab for it, but Mercutio ignored him as he slung the jacket over his shoulders and began to saunter along the stone steps, staring wide-eyed up at the sky. “Oh, look at me, I’m Romeo! I like cloud watching, and ignoring my friends, and writing angsty poetry about my failed love life!”

Benvolio couldn’t keep himself from snorting in laughter; he decided there was really no reason not to throw in his two cents as well. “I can never keep a girlfriend for more than two weeks because I’m always off dreaming about ‘true love’, while totally ignoring my wonderful cousin Benvolio who needs peace and quiet to study!”

“Study?” Mercutio flung himself backwards against the steps next to Benvolio, draping an arm over his forehead dramatically. “I don’t know the meaning of the word! I’m too caught up in contemplating the philosophy of love, and life, and why peanut butter is called peanut butter if there’s not actually any butter in it!” Rolling onto his stomach, he stretched out flat along the stairs. “I’m so dreamy that if my head wasn’t attached by the neck, it would fall off! I’d get dizzy trying to walk in a straight line! I-” His head shot up; the next thing Benvolio knew, his friend was attempting to climb up the side of one of the statues on both sides of the steps. “Here I am, scaling statues, jumping fences, sneaking into gardens at midnight, all in pursuit of my one true love! I’m sure no one’s going to call the police on me, because why on _earth_ would anyone do that?”

Having reached the top of the statue, Mercutio hung by his arms and skillfully dropped to the ground by Benvolio’s side once more. “One day, Ben, one day-” He grabbed hold of the other boy’s shoulders, gazing dreamily into his eyes- thoroughly ignoring Benvolio’s attempts to shake him off. “I’m gonna get married. And my wife’s gonna be the prettiest girl in the world, and she’s gonna look like a model and sing like an angel and have _superpowers! _And we’re gonna have a hundred kids, who’ll all have superpowers too. And _I’ll_ have superpowers!” Flopping back against the steps, he stretched out his arms and sighed. “Oh, Benvolio, the world is so beautiful! As long as there are pretty girls who look at me, everything is perfect in the entire universe! Poverty? What’s that? A huge feud right in the middle of our city, what on earth is tha-”__

__He was abruptly cut off by a sharp jab to the ribs from Benvolio, who was staring ahead of him in unabashed horror. “Oh,” the Montague boy muttered, his eyes locked on his cousin Romeo, who stood ten feet away watching their display with crossed arms. “Oh no.”_ _

__Romeo cleared his throat. “Having fun, boys?”_ _

__Mercutio sat up abruptly; if he was caught of guard by the sudden presence of his best friend, he did a good job hiding it. “Yeah. Great fun. You know, aside from nearly getting caught in the rainstorm of the century. Your timing couldn’t be-”_ _

__“Worse,” interjected Benvolio, his entire manner radiating sheepishness. “I’m sorry, Romeo. _We’re_ sorry.”_ _

__The blond Montague rolled his eyes, gesturing to his car. “Whatever you say, losers,” he muttered, though the hint of a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips suggested that he wasn’t as cross as he sounded. “Just wait until you hear what I have to say about you. Get in the car.”_ _


End file.
